Wedding Hells
by Undirected Passions
Summary: On their wedding day, Shawn and Juliet experience their own versions of marital misery.
1. Part I

Most brides experienced some sort of crisis on their wedding day. Various little freak outs, like the flowers being the wrong color, or her train being longer than she remembered.

That's all she was feeling, pre-wedding jitters, the woman tried to convince herself. But standing in front of the mirror now, tugging nervously at her dress, Juliet knew it was more than that. No self-respecting bride seriously considered escaping out the window minutes before the wedding.

The worst part of it was that the only thing that was stopping Juliet was the fact that she was too anxious to move. It was as if her feet were frozen to the ground. Literal cold feet. She chuckled shakily at the thought.

Finally willing herself to move, Juliet began a hesitant shuffle towards her bouquet. She almost dreaded the fact that the florist hadn't screwed up. Then at least she'd have something to distract her- something to blame her breakdown on.

Deep Juliet she knew it wasn't a diversion she needed; she needed reassurance. Someone to convince her that she wasn't about to make the biggest mistake of her life. But just as she'd screwed up everything else that day, the detective had dismissed her bride's maid for the time being. Why did she insist on "alone time"? What did she know?

Realizing that if she didn't find company, she would go from soon-to-be bride, to runaway bride, Juliet rushed to the door and thrust it open. "Hello?" she called, peeking out her hotel room. "Is anyone there?" Everyone was probably in their own rooms, getting ready for the wedding. Something she should be doing now. Juliet cursed herself for not talking out her problems sooner.

"Anyone?" she tried again.

"O'Hara?"

Juliet perked up immediately, jerking her head towards the source of the noise. Her heart sank as she made out the approaching shape. "Oh, Carlton, it's you" she said quietly.

"Don't sound so disappointed," Lassiter laughed, trying out a bit of levity.

Juliet smiled lightly. "Sorry, I was expecting someone else."

"You said anyone," Carlton pointed out.

"Did I?"

The head detective took a step closer to his partner, looking genuinely concerned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Juliet lied, faking a smile.

"O'Hara, your hands are shaker, your face is paler than usually, and you look like you're about to throw up. What's up?" He asked, his voice uncharacteristically gentle.

Juliet shook her head. "It's really nothing. Just... girl stuff." That wasn't exactly a lie. Most men didn't worry about whether or not they wanted to be somebody's wife.

Lassiter's eyes widened in horror, and any color in his whitish face had completely drained. "Y-You're not pregnant are you?" he demanded. "Because if that's why you're marrying Shawn, you should know that the crime rate involving single mothers is steadily decreasing."

"No, nothing like that," Juliet assured him. She would have laughed except for his last sentence. Why _was _she marrying Shawn? "I'm just a little nervous."

"Nervous?" Lassiter repeated. "The woman who shot the machete from a psycho's hand in the middle of a thunderstorm is nervous about walking down an aisle?"

Juliet smiled despite her anxiousness. "That was different, I was trained for that," she explained with a sigh. "Nothing prepares you from making a huge life decision in front of hundreds of people you barely know."

Lassiter was quiet for a moment. "O'Hara, getting married isn't a major decision."

"It isn't?" Juliet asked, giving him a sideways glance.

He shook his head. "You made that decision when you accepted Shawn's proposal." His eyes narrowed to tiny blue-grey slits. "You did say yes, didn't you? This isn't a forced marriage is it?"

Juliet laughed- genuinely this time, not just to be polite. "I said yes," she affirmed. "I didn't even have to think about it." A lump began to start in her throat. "Oh God, I didn't even think about," Juliet realized, sliding down to rest on the hall carpet.

Carlton sighed and took a seat by the distressed woman. Who knew that he'd be convincing his best friend to marry one of the few people he hated in this world. Well, few was pushing it, but he really didn't approve of Shawn. "Well, think about it know," he instructed.

"Now?" Juliet asked unsurely. "I'm supposed to be getting married in five minutes, I really don't think I have time this." She took in a shaky breath. "Maybe I should just postpone-"

"Just think about it," Lassiter repeated firmly. "Do you want to get married?"

Juliet blinked, slightly stunned by the sudden interrogation. "Yes, but-"

"Good, now we know your parents didn't waste thousands of dollars," he interrupted, not realizing how callous he sounded. "Do you want to get married to Shawn?"

"I think so, I mean..." she began.

"Yes or no?"

Juliet looked down at her hands, ashamed. "I don't know," she said again, finally breaking down in tears. "I don't know what I want!" she practically yelled. "I wanna get married. I want to run away. I want to crawl under a damn rock until things start making sense?" Juliet ran her fingers through her hair, mussing the perfect blonde curls her hairdresser had been so proud of. "God, why isn't this easier?"

"Shh," Lassiter tried to comfort her. He'd never seen his partner so emotional, and frankly, he had no idea what to do with it. Carlton wasn't exactly a very empathetic person, and he was terrible with women. "Do... do you love Shawn?" he asked softly.

"More than anything," Juliet responded without hesitation. "I- I just don't know if he's marriage material." She felt like a hypocrite saying it. After all, Shawn wasn't the one having second thoughts. "He's immature, he doesn't take anything serious, and he hasn't stuck with anything in his entire life!"

Lassiter reached for Juliet's hand, giving it an awkward pat. He looked up at her, knowing exactly what she needed to hear; what Victoria had needed to know on their wedding day.

Without a word, Lassiter stood up, offering Juliet his hand to do the same. Juliet pulled herself up, puzzled at his silence.

Lassiter just smiled in reply and pulled her into a light hug. After a few seconds, he spoke. Four words. "He stuck with you."

Before Juliet could respond, Lassiter had pulled away and turned to leave. She smiled as she watched him depart. Suddenly, all of her fears seemed so trivial. If Shawn wasn't worried, why should she be? He knew everything would be alright. He was psychic after all.


	2. Part II

Okay, I lied. This story will actually have THREE parts. But no more! I promise.

**-000-**

Left foot.

Right foot.

Left foot.

Left foot.

Gus snickered as Shawn staggered and nearly fell on the richly colored carpet. The groom had spent the better part of his prep time pacing anxiously across his hotel room. For the most part, Gus just laughed him, offering a few calm reassurances when it seemed most needed, but seeing him trip like that was just too good an opportunity for mockery.

"I thought those dance lessons were supposed to **stop **you from doing that," he teased, chuckling as Shawn rose, rather unsteadily, to his feet.

But Shawn didn't laugh at his friends attempt at humor. "Dude, it's not funny!" he groaned, plopping down onto a nearby recliner. "I screwed up big time!"

Gus suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. He was used to Shawn's melodramatic acts, but one would think he'd try to be more serious on a day as important as this one. "Your part looks fine, stop stressing."

"It's not that," Shawn sighed. "It's bigger than that."

Gus scoffed deridingly. "Bigger than your hair? No way!"

"Gus, I'm serious!" Shawn insisted, tugging nervously at his cufflinks. "I did something really bad!"

Gus stared at his friend. He'd noticed Shawn acting odd lately, but odd was sort of normal for him. "You cheated on Juliet!" he hypothesized, mortified.

Shawn quickly shook his head. "Of course not," he denied, seeming more anxious than ever. "It's worse than that. I... Well, I lied to her."

"What about?" Gus questioned.

Shawn rubbed his hands over his temples. His eyes were shut tight, and he looked very much like he was about to cry. "Jules doesn't know I'm not psychic."

"Very funny Shawn," Gus replied sarcastically. Shawn had nearly scared him to death, and all for a, frankly sub-par joke. It was a joke wasn't it? It had to be. The more Gus studied Shawn, the less sure he became.

"How is the possibility of me being left at the altar because I'm a coward funny?" Shawn demanded, the panic in his voice evident.

"You really didn't' tell her?" Gus asked angrily. Shawn had done a lot of stupid things in his day, but this had to take the cake. "Not when you started dating? Not when you gave her a key to your place?" He was starting to raise his voice now. "Not when you PROPOSED?"

Shawn shrank back sheepishly. "I- I tried! All those times!" he defended. "Especially before I proposed. I had this whole speech prepared, and everything. But then I saw her. I was already carrying the ring in my pocket, and things just got out of order!" He was rambling now, desperate for an excuse. "I meant to tell her right afterwards, but I couldn't! She'd just said yes, and I was so afraid to do anything that might change her mind."

"So when were you going to tell her?" Gus questioned, having trouble feeling sympathetic given the circumstances. "You're getting married in less than half an hour."

Shawn let out a troubled sigh. "I tell her. Right after the wedding," he decided.

"_After _the wedding?" Gus repeated disbelieving.

"Yes, after! I can't tell her so soon before, it'll be a train wreck!" Shawn moaned.

"That's your problem," Gus shot back coldly. "You have to tell her you're a phony before she commits the rest of her life to you!"

Shawn clenched his fists in frustration. "I can't!"

Gus shook his head. "That's not acceptable. You have to tell her, or-"

"Or what?" Shawn demanded. The fact that Gus was lecturing him about something that had already caused him so much grief was starting to piss Shawn off. Who was Gus to judge his moral errs? "You'll tell her first?"

"No," Gus said calmly, "but I'll leave."

Shawn snorted. "I'm not going to potentially ruin my future with the woman I love just because you threaten to storm off."

"That's your decision," Gus acknowledged. And without so much as a dirty look, he left.

"Fine!" Shawn called after him, even though the door was shut. "A goat will make a better best man anyway! At least he'll smell better!" The fake psychic was aware of how childish his insult was, but that's how he felt right then, juvenile, like a stupid kid who was in way too deep. Only now it would take more than a plastic shovel to dig him out.

**-000-**

Juliet was a mess, she realized, glancing at herself in the full length mirror. Her veil was tangled, her eyes were puffy, and she was pretty sure the weird foundation her mother had brought was giving her a rash. But Juliet didn't care; she wasn't about to have another mental breakdown on the happiest day of her life.

"Mister and Misses Juliet O'Hara," she whispered, repeated the words Shawn had spoken so many years ago. Juliet had to admit, she'd thought Shawn's "vision of them married" was just another one of his cheesy attempts at flirtation, but it was more than that. She wondered how long he'd known.

With one last peek at her reflection, Juliet stepped out of the room. She was ready. She could do this. She was...

"Gus?" she called, watching the man rush past her.

The ex-best man stopped, almost reluctantly, and turned to face his friend. "Oh, hey Juliet," he greeted.

Juliet frowned, noticing the odd expression on the man's face. "Where are you going?"

"Nowhere," Gus lied. "I mean, minor family crisis, I'm be right back."

"Oh. Okay, well I hope everything works out."

Gus nodded curtly. He hoped so too. "Juliet," he began, not sure why he didn't just leave. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Um, sure," she agreed hesitantly.

"I know the bride isn't supposed to see the groom before the wedding. But if you see Shawn, tell him..." Gus paused for a moment, as if trying to figure something out. "Tell him that I told you."

"That you told me what?" Juliet asked, puzzled.

"Just that I told you. Don't tell him what about."

Juliet blinked. That wouldn't be hard considering she had no idea what she'd just been told. "Okay," she consented.

Gus smiled weakly. "Thanks."

"No problem," Juliet replied, puzzled as she watched Gus leave. She knew he was most likely lying about the family emergency as most of his family was at the wedding. But as much as she would love to, Juliet had no time to investigate. She could only hope that everything would work out.

Bottom of Form**-000-**

Hope you like. ^^


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